An important part of personal health is knowing yourself, knowing your truths, facing your shadows and being content about where you're at in life, no matter the challenges you face. Contentedness comes from the process of dealing with things, not just putting on a brave face and saying "I'm fine".
Yeah... it's easier said than done.
Traditionally a Truth Bomb is when you say something that is bluntly honest. Done well it can be both enlightening and provocative. It symbolizes the ability to drop a significant or hard-hitting truth that might be uncomfortable or eye-opening for the intended target.
But I want to take this concept a little further, because we don't always have someone there to provide that constructive criticism, sometimes we need to rely on our own ability to diffuse the bomb ourselves! I'd dare to argue that men struggle with this the most. Although generations are changing, there is still an inherited lack of openness and honesty about our feelings. I consider myself to have fairly good emotional intelligence and value my ability to communicate my feelings with those close to me. But I find myself at times, preferring to just bottle it up and brood on it. In fact the more I bottle it up, the more stressed and exhausted I become and the less I feel like talking about it. So a viscous cycle begins.
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A Truth Time-bomb is something that builds up, it's when you ignore some of the issues in your own life, whether they are fitness, diet, stress… or destructive behavioral patterns that can arise from a combination of all these. If you don’t find ways to diffuse that Truth Bomb it can literally blow up in your face!
Actually, I'd suggest that out of character behavior is not a cause, but the first sign of a ticking time-bomb. Whether at home or at work, if you ever hear someone say "that's a little out of character for you"... then it's time to take a step back and ask yourself why. The challenge is, we don't always have someone to point out the landmines we lay for ourselves, we don't always have the bomb squad at our disposal to disarm and save us.
We need to learn how to recognize the truths within ourselves, the call out the lies hiding in plain sight for what they are.
Journalling
Perhaps the best way to recognize these out of character moments is through journalling. By locking in a minimum of 15 mins each morning and each evening. The following is a basic structure I've developed for my own journalling but use this to help develop your own. See if you can identify which part will help to recognize out of character behaviour and alert the bomb squad!
Morning Journaling (15 minutes)
1. Gratitude Listing (3 minutes): Start your day by writing down three things you're grateful for. This sets a positive tone and can shift your perspective to one of appreciation, particularly when you get up on the wrong side of the bed.
2. Intentions for the Day (5 minutes): Outline what you would like to achieve today, focusing on just a few key priorities, or it can start to overwhelm you. Also note how you want to behave or react in certain situations, and personal qualities you want to embody.
3. Affirmations or Visualization (3 minutes): This follows on from the last part of intentions. Use these few minutes to visualize and feel the way you want to react through the day and how that makes you feel. This helps reinforce a positive self-image and aligns this mindset with your objectives.
4. Brief Planning (4 minutes): Note down a simple, time-structured plan for tackling your critical tasks. It’s also helpful to identify any challenges that might crop up, think about how you’ll handle them and how you can still tackle those key tasks by the end of the day if that happens.
Evening Journaling (15 minutes)
1. Reflection on Achievements and Challenges (5 minutes): Reflect on what you accomplished and what was challenging. This helps to acknowledge your successes and to understand any difficulties that cropped up.
2. Analyze Reactions and Behaviors (5 minutes): Consider any moments during the day when your reactions or behaviors were out of character or not in alignment with your intentions. Think about the triggers and what might be underlying these responses.
3. Lessons Learned and Adjustments (3 minutes): Write about what you learned from the day and how you can improve from these insights going forward.
4. Evening Gratitude (2 minutes): End by jotting down a few things you were thankful for throughout the day. Note down what made you the happiest then note what you look forward to tomorrow. This can help mitigate stress and foster an overiding sense of contentment.
At first this might seem a lot to take on twice a day and when you first start it will probably take more than 15 mins. Like anything, you learn journalling as a skill which quickly gets easier. You soon find yourself able to slip into this mode of thinking, in fact you start to look forward to it and like missing your morning cuppa or coffee, you feel it when you miss it.
Are you OK?
Learning to know ourselves doesn't have to be a huge journey of self-discovery, a pilgrimage into ancient traditions and countless dollars spent on self-help courses. It is simply learning to talk to yourself, through the practice of writing.
But when you can, be that person who asks your mates with total sincerity... how they are really doing. If you usually meetup with friends in a group... find time for 1 on 1... grab a coffee or a beer. Go for a walk or run and don't be afraid to open up and don't be afraid to ask and make sure you listen.
So tell me... how are you?
